“Isn’t it absolutely crazy that the person you’re going to marry is somewhere in the world right now. They could be eating, sleeping, staring up in the same sky as you do, wondering who they are going to marry as well.” She spoke quietly as we lay in her front yard.
Her shoulder gently touched mine, and her fingers would sometimes graze across the skin of my forearm. Her hair was in a shape of a halo around her head, so perfect, as if she was an angel. My angel. Her knees were bent in the air, like mine, and everytime they bumped, it’s just like sparks of love were produced.
And I wanted to scream at her so badly, that the person she was going to marry was just right beside her.
But I couldn’t. I doubt she even feels this way. I’m just a best friend to her. Nothing else. I needed to calm down, that’s all. It’s a matter of time when I realise that she was not meant for me. What is truly yours would eventually be yours, and what is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be.
Suddenly, I awoke, to myself lying on the floor. Looking back at the dream I had, I realised that I have been having yet another dream about my best friend. Long-gone best friend, to be exact. She was the only person whom I actually trusted, after being wrecked twice, all by the people whom I used to trust. As what they say, the sad thing about betrayal, is that it never come from your enemies. But she has proved it, staying beside me, piecing me back, piece by piece, as I fell apart each time. However, she was gone. Erased by time as it passes on. I don’t really like to remember that part of my life when I lost her, as it always get me crying.
The pictures that she sent me are still living in my phone, which I have stored in a specific album and hidden away in my gallery, never to be reminisced. Those pictures which we took together, were also stored together with those pictures, in that album marked “Memories”.
Although it has already been a few months, I still couldn’t forget her, as I kept sensing her presence beside me. Our last moments together, seemed just like yesterday. Those memories, dating back until we first met, were secured in my head, although I kept trying to forget them as the pain was too much to take.
The news of her death were all over the papers, the day after the accident. And I kept that paper, occasionally taking a look at it to remind me that she has moved on. It was that day…
“Vroom!” The motorcycle zoomed past buildings and trees on the sidewalk, speeding down the road. “Uh… Isn’t this getting a little bit intense?” I forced these words out of my mouth, with the intense wind blowing against my face. We both liked being extreme, but this was too much for me to take. “This is fun!!” She shouted out, with apparently no signs of stopping. Out on a deserted road with almost no passers-by, I started to get worried.
“This helmet is squeezing my brains. Would you help me to take it off and wear it?”
“Would you put your hands around me, hold me like you’ve never done it before?”
“Would you say ‘I love you’ as if you were announcing to the whole world?”
Only when I took a look at the headlines on the newspapers, then I realised that, actually, the brakes on the motorcycle was broken. She just wanted me to live on. She knows that she wasn’t going to make it, so she wanted me to hug her one last time, and hear me say that I loved her one last time…
She was my first love.
“Will you trust and honour her, laugh with her and cry with her? Will you be faithful through good times and bad, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?” The priest asks.
“I will.” I scream with all my might.
Suddenly, just as I was going to kiss her, cracks appeared on the floor, and it seems that the whole world was falling apart. I slipped and fell, through a hole, into a world of darkness…
I felt that I hit something hard and awoke with a sudden jolt, later finding out that I hit the side of my bed. I’m still dreaming about her, am I… I can’t forget her…I really can’t
But dreams don’t come true, do they?