Teary-eyed and angry, Sid slammed the door shut and hid the bubble of his anger in his bedroom. “Why the hell doeshe always has to find faults in my paintings?” he asked to himself.
His mother sensed the teenager’s rage. She came in to calm him down. And she narrated to her child the tale which has come down upon us from our ancestors.
‘There was a father who always found mistakes in his son’s paintings. Furious with rage, one day, the son decided to murder him. And when he sneaked in, in his parents’ room, he heard them talking.
“Mom: Why are you so critical of your son’s art? Do appreciate him sometimes.
Dad: The whole world will appreciate him. They might not be honest always. I don’t want him to lose his talent in pride and arrogance.”
Hearing this, the kid backed off. He understood why his dad was so critical of art and he loved his dad from then on, no matter what.’
After listening to the story, Sid looked in his mother’s eyes for long. She smiled when the anger on his face had vanished and she left him thinking.
He thought about a few things before sleep over-powered him:
- What would have happened in that story if the boy had killed his dad before over-hearing their conversation? Or what if the mother herself would never know the view point of his husband? Negative Reviews and Anger of our loved ones sure has a whole bunch of good intentions and love behind them. But if we remain unaware of this love, lives would shatter. In that story, if his dad would sometimes show love and appreciate the paintings and then he would be critical when it was needed, the story would have taken a different turn.
- What would have happened if that boy’s confidence and faith would have been crushed by all the negative feedbacks of his dad? Often we find kids who become strong by all the negativity. They make you feel proud with positive results. All you need to do is hurt their ego. But then there are kids who might drop the paint brush in the palette and give up on painting. Hearing the negative comments and reviews repetitively would kill their confidence. Before we take any step towards the negative motivation, we need to be sure of the mindset of the kid we are dealing with.
- What if the kid in the story never thought of killing his dad and silently hated him all his life? Yeah! This is what practically happens. We are taught to hide our emotions and so we do, until one day the volcano erupts. Till then silent hatred becomes a part of our life.
Negative motivation might not work for every child. Before we draw morals on the tales and narrate it to children we need to question the stories, because these are the stories that build the foundation of their thought process.